The Breaths of Winter

How To Calm Your Breathing

Backward Facing Therapy contains soulful and insightful stories from my time as a therapist, and therapy client. Sometimes you have to look back so you can move forward. Sit by me and we’ll do it together. Posts are informational and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health care.

A golden hue accents the dark silhouette of the trees. Their bare branches appear regal and resilient against the stunning backdrop. It’s as if they’re saying, “My adornments have flown away but here I still stand.”

My breath creates fog clouds as I inhale and exhale, and the cold air seems to invigorate me.

My senses become alive and a wave of joy washes over me.

A pair of geese fly overhead singing their winter song. In the distance, I hear wind chimes playing a soothing tune.

As I walk towards the pond, turtles hurriedly leave the shore for the icy water.

I take a moment to look around and I find that I’m the only person outside. For this moment, I feel like nothing else exists.

No phones are ringing, no loud conversations are occurring, and surprisingly there’s no noise coming from the homes around me.

I hear a meow from the bushes and one of the community cats I care for cautiously approaches me. Was she waiting for the quiet too?

Now that the sun has gone down, I can feel the cold air envelop me. I still myself and take four slow, deep breaths.

I feel calm and my mind feels clear. My nervous system is no longer in overdrive.

I walk back into my home and the TV noise immediately strikes me, the light from the lamps, and the sound of my husband doing dishes in the sink.

As a person sensitive to light and noise, my nervous system immediately starts to react but thankfully, I’ve learned how to avoid overstimulation.

I head to another room, turn on the dimly lit fairy lights, and start box breathing.

Ahhh…that’s much better.

Now…I’m ready to tackle the linens and laundry because:

• I am calm.

• I am present.

• I am at one with my nervous system.

I did not arrive at this peaceful place overnight. It took lots of practice, lots of starts and fails, and plenty of frustration. The key is not to give up because once you’ve mastered box breathing, you have a tool to help you cope with stress, anxiety, and overstimulation.

Here’s why box breathing is effective:

1. It can help you move out of the stress state by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system (responsible for the rest state) is the opposite of the sympathetic nervous system (responsible for the fight or flight response).

2. It brings mindfulness to your breathing and helps you calm your mind.

3. It lowers your stress level and can reduce the stress hormone cortisol.

How to calm your breathing using box breathing:

Note: There are several different ways to box breathe, but this method has worked best for me and my clients. If you feel short of breath or dizzy at any time, stop immediately.

1. Breathe in through your nose as you slowly count to four in your head. Be mindful of how the air fills your lungs.

2. Hold your breath for a count of four.

3. Exhale for another count of four.

4. Inhale and hold your breath again for a count of four.

5. Repeat for three to four rounds.

Of course, this practice works best if you can find a place to sit and relax but it can be practiced just about anywhere.

A final note:

While the sample size was small, this study showed that brief structured respiration practices (box breathing) enhanced mood, improved affect, and reduced physiological arousal for its participants.

When was the last time you truly felt calm?

Additional resources:

What I Want You To Know About Panic Attacks + Anxiety

Learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions

for the tossers and turners, worriers, and sleep- anxious

Take care of yourselves, friends,

Kim

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