Learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions
An essay from my journal
This audio was recorded in my home so expect to hear ambient sounds of life. I’ve added it as a little extra for you all. 💚
Season after season I’ve watched the willow tree in my backyard. Its beautiful long branches dip into the lake and kiss the shimmering water.
The turtles gather beneath it when the sparrow hawk circles above and ducks often make their nest underneath its shadowy branches.
When the cold and wind come and the sunshine is less, the willow’s leaves begin to fall.
The cascading leaves look like tears as the lush green willow turns into a barren trunk with sparse vines.
The winds of November remove the remaining leaves until the trunk is exposed for all to see.
Now exposed and barren, the willow persists through snow, ice, rain, and floods.
While it looks like a sad and lonely tree, one must look deeper to discover that something special is happening.
Deep inside its roots, the willow is nurturing itself by soaking in the sun, absorbing nutrients, and preparing for what will come.
The willow does not pine for what was, it has learned to sit with what is even when it’s cold, wet, barren, or lush.
For over nine years I have watched as this willow survived and thrived with each season.
Whether it is bare or full of lush greens, it remains firm.
It does not shy away from the discomfort or ugliness of its exposed trunk unlike myself who often struggles to sit with a bare, exposed soul.
After several seasons of watching this dance, I’ve finally learned the steps.
When I’m struggling with grief, disappointment, or despair, I too must sit and nurture my roots. I must feel the beautiful sunlight along with the barren cold.
While it’s difficult to be raw for all to see, or to sit with uncomfortable emotions, here’s what happens when you do.
When You Learn To Sit with Uncomfortable Emotions
You begin to understand yourself (including what you want/don’t want out of life, what boundaries you need to set, and what your values and morals are).
You see yourself as human and learn that feelings are neither good nor bad.
Your brain processes the uncomfortable emotions so they don’t come back later as an unresolved anxiety trigger.
You build emotional resilience. Resilience is an inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback, challenge, or problem. When you lack resilience, you may get stuck on everyday problems or feel like a victim. This could lead to unhealthy coping skills or maladaptive behaviors like drug or alcohol use.
You develop empathy and compassion and give yourself grace. You recognize that uncomfortable emotions are part of the human experience and NOT a punishment. ←Read that again.
The willow and I have survived the dark days of winter by learning to sit, wait, nourish, and go through what we must.
Hold on dear reader for spring, it always comes.
Be well,
Kim
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Like they say in AA: “You better get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
Thank you for the reminder.
Kim, thanks so much for this insightful post. I spend a lot of time sitting with my my emotions, uncomfortable and comfortable. They are all worthy of our time and we can't ignore the uncomfortable ones because we need to learn and heal from them.