I know the Gen X default mode all too well. Like you, I also know how fucked up it is and have mostly learned to be okay with crying or being angry no matter where I am or how others react. Most people ignore me because feelings make them uncomfortable. Others try to make me feel better by minimizing my pain and telling me I should be grateful because my life is good compared to other people’s. Others try to fix whatever made me upset (or tell me what I should do).
And occasionally someone is wise enough to just listen and/or hug me and let me express my feelings. I try to do the same when I encounter someone who’s visibly upset, even if I don’t know them.
Those people who just listen and give hugs are gems. Hold on to those blessings.
The others who try to fix things do that bc they don’t know what else to do. Their intentions are good but they don’t understand the proverbial assignment.
I am learning this at 47 years old finally. I always felt I had to fix everything and it was all on me even if it wasn't my problem. My adult children have shown me how this is actually damaging behavior even if I was doing it out of love and to shield them from the consequences. I also feel uncomfortable with emotions and only know how to "fix". Not going to do that anymore now that I know how damaging it is to others.
Stream of consciousness writing is great at unearthing the stuff I keep hidden from myself.
I know the Gen X default mode all too well. Like you, I also know how fucked up it is and have mostly learned to be okay with crying or being angry no matter where I am or how others react. Most people ignore me because feelings make them uncomfortable. Others try to make me feel better by minimizing my pain and telling me I should be grateful because my life is good compared to other people’s. Others try to fix whatever made me upset (or tell me what I should do).
And occasionally someone is wise enough to just listen and/or hug me and let me express my feelings. I try to do the same when I encounter someone who’s visibly upset, even if I don’t know them.
Those people who just listen and give hugs are gems. Hold on to those blessings.
The others who try to fix things do that bc they don’t know what else to do. Their intentions are good but they don’t understand the proverbial assignment.
Just sit with me and be.
I am learning this at 47 years old finally. I always felt I had to fix everything and it was all on me even if it wasn't my problem. My adult children have shown me how this is actually damaging behavior even if I was doing it out of love and to shield them from the consequences. I also feel uncomfortable with emotions and only know how to "fix". Not going to do that anymore now that I know how damaging it is to others.
We’re all works in progress. 🙏
And I forgot to add that I’ll look for you on Post. I’m @writerwendig there.
Followed you!