The Five Cognitive Distortions That Wrecked Me
And a Micro-Course To Help You
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As a therapist, I spent a lot of time sitting with people who were in that space where they were ready to explore what happened to them and what they came to believe about themselves because of it.
And more often than not, those beliefs weren’t grounded in truth. They were shaped by cognitive distortions (thinking errors that quietly warp the way they see themselves, others, and the world).
These beliefs whisper:
You’re not good enough. Everyone’s mad at you. You always mess it up.
And they’re convincing, especially when we’re stressed, burned out, or hurting.
But here’s something I reminded my clients—and myself:
Just because a thought feels real doesn’t mean it’s true.
Let’s take a look at five cognitive distortions that I struggled with.
Struggled really isn’t the right word.
These cognitive distortions wrecked me and brought me to my knees. They led me to depression, anxiety, and eventually, therapy.
Maybe you’re struggling with the same ones.
The Five Cognitive Distortions That Wrecked Me
1. Catastrophizing
From my article:
Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair. When a situation is upsetting, but not necessarily catastrophic, they still feel like they are in the midst of a crisis.
The worst-case scenario becomes the only one your mind can see.
A headache becomes a brain tumor.
A delay in response means rejection.
A small mistake spirals into disaster.
Sound familiar?
I didn’t see the glass as half-empty, I saw it as a glass full of sewage water.
Everything was horrible, and nobody was going to tell me anything different.
2. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Also called black-and-white thinking. This is when things are either perfect or a total failure.
You miss a day at the gym and think, “I blew it.”
You get constructive feedback and assume, “I’m terrible at my job.”
There’s no room for nuance.
Before therapy, your girl did not see the gray areas. I lived in the “it has to be perfect or I’m a failure” zone.
And it was exhausting.
Especially when my mind kept telling me, “If I make a mistake, I’m a bad person.”
Lovely, right?
3. Disqualifying the Positive
You reach a goal but say it was “nothing.”
You get a compliment and brush it off.
You set the bar so high that the good stuff never counts.
Disqualifying the positive happens whenever someone dismisses or discounts good things that happen by either downplaying them or insisting they don’t count.
If I got five “A’s” and one “B” on my report card, I’d hyperfocus on that one B and ignore all of those A’s.
If someone told me I was pretty, I’d respond with, “Not really.”
I’ve got to tell you, this was a really difficult one to work through in therapy, and there are times this thinking error pops back up.
But mostly I’ve learned how to receive kindness without shrinking it, and I’ve learned that my moments of success count.
4. Personalization
My friend cancelled our plans. I must not be fun to be around.
My husband is stressed out. I’m probably the reason he’s stressed out.
My parents are arguing. It’s because I’m a bad kid.
Personalization is when we blame ourselves for events outside of our control, or we take everything personally. This creates guilt, anxiety, and over-responsibility.
Breaking news: Not everything is about you/me or within your/my control. 🤷🏼♀️
And we are not responsible for every mood around us.
Read that again if you need to.
5. Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning is when you believe that because you feel something, it must be true.
I feel anxious before the exam, so that surely means I’m about to fail.
I feel unloved, so I must not be lovable.
I feel like a failure today, so I must be one.
But feelings, while real, are not always reliable narrators. And feelings are not always hard evidence of reality.
With emotional reasoning, I walked around thinking, “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
Instead of taking time to look at the facts, I walked around in a purely reactive emotional state.
It was not a fun time.
Why Talking About Cognitive Distortions Matters
Cognitive distortions are not character flaws. They’re learned patterns, often rooted in stress, trauma, or environments that taught us to doubt ourselves.
Do you know where the majority of my cognitive distortions stemmed from?
My childhood.
They were taught to me.
They were modeled for me.
They were ingrained in me.
But with therapy, awareness, and self-compassion, they were eventually unlearned.
And because mental health is like physical health (it requires regular maintenance), I now know to ask myself,
What else might be true?
That one question can shift the entire tone of your inner world.
Let’s catch, uncover, and correct
Would you like to explore more cognitive distortions? Find out where they come from? Catch them when they happen? Learn how to reframe them?
My Cognitive Distortions micro-course is designed to provide practical evidence-based tools to help you recognize your unhelpful thought patterns and replace them with clarity, compassion, and balance. You’ll also learn how to uncover where the unhelpful thought patterns come from.
When you take the micro-course, you’ll also get access to a Thought Diary, Cognitive Distortions Reference List, and a 56-page workbook that walks you through over eighteen cognitive distortions, guides you in reframing your thoughts, and teaches you to build grounding statements that you can lean on when your mind feels overwhelming.
This course and its materials aren’t about “positive thinking” but rather learning how to see your thoughts more clearly so you can move through life with greater resilience, self-trust, and clarity.
Access the Course Vault here»»»
Journal prompts to ponder:
What is a thought I’ve had lately that might be distorted?
If I spoke to myself like a friend, how would I reframe it?
Which of these distortions shows up most often for me?
If this resonated with you, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re not alone in your thoughts, and you’re allowed to question the stories your mind has been repeating. Healing starts with noticing, and with kindness.
Before you go…
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If you’re not ready to commit to a subscription, you can also buy me a coffee or send me a dose of mindfulness (a book).
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Be well,
Kim
