Reflection Is How We Make Meaning
And Learn To Stop Carrying Old Baggage + A Free Gift
Welcome to Backward Facing Therapy, where you’ll find soulful stories and grounded insights from both sides of the therapy couch, plus practical tools you can use to care for your mind in everyday life.
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Please note: This information is provided for educational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
Most of us were taught at a young age to keep moving forward, to shake it off, to get up and try again. We set resolutions, make vision boards, and focus on the next version of ourselves.
We often use a new year, a birthday, or other special occasions to make changes, set goals, make progress, and strive for improvement.
And let’s face it, the world applauds that forward motion because it’s visible.
But whether you’re starting a new year, a new era, or a new phase, I wonder, how much baggage are you carrying with you as you try to move forward?
Are you holding on to resentments, regrets, guilt, anger, or fear with the hope that you won’t have to process or deal with those feelings or “that situation” because you just want to move forward?
Ignoring last year's or last month’s issues might work for a while until you start feeling anxious whenever you run into “that person,” or you start thinking about “that thing.”
That’s when the baggage feels really heavy because it always shows up at the most inconvenient times.
As I discussed in my essay about Self-Awareness:
When clients come to me frustrated by “failed” attempts at change, I almost always see the same pattern:
They focus on behavior without noticing the feelings underneath.
They judge the behavior without examining the thoughts fueling it.
They interpret emotional discomfort as proof they’re doing something wrong.
They lack self-awareness, and self-awareness is the ability to notice:
what you’re feeling
what you’re thinking
how your body is responding
What if we decided at the beginning of a new year or a new phase in life, we paused for a bit and examined our behavior, our thoughts and feelings, and the motives behind our goals by <shudder> looking back and increasing our self-awareness?
Looking backward isn’t about reliving the past. It’s about integrating it. It’s about pausing long enough to understand what shaped us before we try to shape what comes next.
When we permit ourselves to reflect on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (without judgment), we begin to see the hidden patterns that run our lives.
Just like I did with my thirtieth birthday behavior.
From a psychological standpoint, reflection is how we make meaning. The human brain collects memories and then uses them to form a coherent story about who we are.
When we skip over reflection, our nervous system can stay stuck in maladaptive patterns (e.g., reacting in anger before pausing, carrying unprocessed grief, using coping skills that are unhealthy, shutting down instead of talking about it, and more).
^^^This is all baggage.
And therapy taught me I don’t have to carry all the baggage. This is why at the start or end of a year, I take time to process the thoughts, feelings, and experiences from the previous year.
It’s my way of working on my mental health the same way I carve out time for my physical health.
It’s how I honor the person I’ve been before deciding who I’m becoming. It’s how I release what no longer fits, process what I couldn’t control, and carry forward the lessons that matter most. What can I say? It’s the therapist in me. 🤷🏼♀️
And thanks to Backward Facing Therapy’s paid subscribers, today I offer you a gift:
⚫️ An abbreviated version of my Year in Review: A Reflection Workbook.
This 37-page workbook is a free offering available to everyone.
This workbook blends prompts and reflection to help you start/end the year with understanding instead of overwhelm.
Topics you’ll explore:
Your Year in Perspective — reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and patterns with guided prompts.
Emotional Landscape Mapping — identify your most frequent emotions and what regulates them.
Letting Go Rituals — release what weighs you down through mindful exercises and self-forgiveness.
Resilience & Growth Pages — notice your inner strengths and moments of courage.
Vision for the Year Ahead — set gentle intentions, not resolutions, rooted in your values.
Letters to Your Past & Future Self — heal old stories and carry forward wisdom with grace.
Bonus Prompts—explore travel, movies, books, people, and songs that had an impact on you.
Work through the prompts at your own pace. There’s no judgment here.
If you’d like to come back and comment on which section or prompt resonated with you, I’d love that.
By downloading the Year in Review PDF, you understand that the e-book is for your personal use only and should not be shared, redistributed, copied, or sold.
Cheers to looking back and moving forward!
Kim
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